Is There A Divorce Survival Kit?

IS THERE A DIVORCE SURVIVAL KIT?:

More than half the people we know are divorced or very unhappily married... and yet, it’s so much more difficult to get divorced than married. For marriage, you simply need a marriage certificate and someone to officiate the ceremony...whether it’s your local minister, the justice of the peace or an Elvis impersonator in Vegas, the requirements are loose and easily obtainable in a matter of minutes. Yet, to undo the marital bond, it seems spouses must endure the confusing (seemingly insurmountable) paperwork, huge legal bills and microscopic investigation.Some people attempt to simplify their lives and their divorce by attempting to obtain a divorce without the assistance of lawyers. This can be the fatal mistake. It is extremely foolish to attempt a divorce without a knowledgeable family law attorney. Family law has become increasingly complicated and technical in California. And, divorces can become much more complicated and costly if first attempted without the proper guidance.
Once married, spouses are held under California law as fiduciaries to each other. In 1993, the California legislature enacted requirements that spouses provide full disclosure to each other of assets, liabilities, income and expenses prior to a property division in a divorce case. A court will not enter a divorce until the proper disclosures have been made and forms completed. Moreover, in 1993 the legislature also enacted laws which give courts the discretion to set aside (undo) divorce judgments if they were obtained through fraud, perjury, duress, mental incapacity, mistake or if one of the parties failed to comply with the stringent disclosure requirements. Even after a divorce is entered, there is potential that the entire divorce will be undone if it was not completed properly the first time with the required disclosures. With the increased cost and difficulty in obtaining a divorce, many couples live separated for years without being able to complete their divorce. And, in fact, even attorneys with other specialities have extreme difficulty obtaining their own divorces without the assistance of a family law attorney.
Ultimately, the best way to get through the trauma of a divorce is to meet with a family law attorney and discuss the options for resolving the matter amicably first. If the case can be resolved through agreement, then the parties have the option to work collaboratively or through mediation to provide the disclosures and complete the divorce. This is the most efficient and least costly method to complete the divorce (both financially and emotionally). If the parties are not able to reach an agreement on all issues, then they should attempt to resolve any issues they can and narrow down the issues that will require litigation. It should be both parties’ goal to keep the litigation down to a minimum. Both parties will have more control to creatively work through their issues if done outside of court.
Some family law attorneys, retired judges and retired commissioners also provide services as mediators who can assist couples in reaching agreements after inspecting and having the parties complete the proper disclosures to each other. A mediator cannot represent either party, but instead provides services to couples who want to reach agreements. Each spouse may choose to have their own separate family law attorney review and advise them regarding an agreement reached at mediation. Either way, if the parties can reach an agreement at mediation, it will save them significant financial and emotional anguish.
If litigation is necessary, then having the right lawyer can make the difference in the outcome. Having an attorney who has substantial knowledge and experience in family law is imperative. This is your life... your family....you should be able to trust that the attorney will be working for your best interests and is knowledgeable on how to approach the issues in your case. You want your divorce to be a memory... not a reoccurring nightmare.

Is It Time To See A Family Law Attorney?- California Family Law

IS IT TIME TO SEE A FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY?...http://www.cramptonlaw.com
When faced with the possibility of a divorce or custody issue, here are specific reasons why seeing a family law attorney right away can save you from problems later:
- To Learn Your Options: A good family law attorney can discuss the different legal options you have when you face a domestic dispute. Is divorce the answer? Is there an alternative? How should I protect myself during reconciliation attempts? A family law attorney can give you information as to your options, even if you're not sure about divorce.
- To Obtain Information On Your Rights: The decisions you make during a family law case can affect you and your children the rest of your lives. No one should make these decisions without properly being informed of their rights under the law. You should not trust the other side to properly explain your rights under the law. You should educate yourself to your rights through a consultation with a qualified attorney. Many attorneys will provide consultation on an hourly basis without the necessity of a big retainer. You should get the information you need to make these very important decisions as soon as you can. Ignorance is not bliss... in Family Law, ignorance can cause great harm to your family, your assets and your finances.
- To Preserve Your Assets & Protect Against Unnecessary Joint Debt: During a divorce, the families' finances can be examined and divided by the Court. It is important to get legal advice as soon as possible to protect your financial future. If you have a will, living trust, life insurance policies, and other assets with named beneficiaries, it is important that you seek the advice of a lawyer as soon as possible to determine the effect a divorce may have on your estate planning. Many times waiting until someone has filed for a divorce is too late.
- To Get Information On Parental Responsibilities During the Dispute: During a family law dispute it is important to remember that the parents' decisions and behavior can change the lives of their children. Parents need to be especially sensitive to their children during a custody battle. It is important that the children are not emotionally battered and dragged into the conflicts between their parents. A good lawyer can provide advice as to parenting plans that will work in the best interests of your children. In addition, a good lawyer can refer you to counselors and therapists who can help your family get through the difficult times.
A good family law lawyer should approach your case as a "problem solver," not to escalate the issues between the parties. Seeking advice when the problems develop could make a difference in the future of your family.
Elisabeth Camaur, Attorney At Law
Certified Family Law Specialist by the California State Bar Board of Legal Specialization
Camaur Crampton Family Law
19200 Von Karman Avenue, 6th Floor
Irvine, CA 92612 (949)622-5530
www.CamaurCrampton.com
EC@CamaurCrampton.com

Co-Parenting
Most parents going through a divorce or custody battle will agree that their children are the most important issue they face. Children of all ages are thrust into the uncertainty and heartache of divorce. And, while living in separate households can actually be more beneficial to children than remaining in a house of constant turmoil and hostility, parents can do irreparable harm to their children by involving the children in the disagreements that arise in the divorce proceedings.
Parents going through divorce have a choice (in most circumstances):
1) Accept the marriage is over and attempt to co-parent the children; or
2) Maintain an adversary relationship with the other parent that spills over into parenting.
Children deserve the love, affection and respect of both parents. If the children are the true priority, in a perfect world, parents would be able to put their own anger aside to work together with the other parent to raise their children. After all, the parents will have a life long relationship of attending extracurricular activities, graduations, children's weddings and sharing grandchildren. Clearly, the children would be happier if these events didn't have the stress of the divorce hostility looming over them.
Unfortunately, a lot of divorced parents believe the other parent is completely unreasonable and they are unable to work anything out with them (hence the divorce). How do divorced parents co-parent in these situations?
A few tips:
1) Do not approach discussions with the other parent as "I am right...you are wrong." Try to be respectful and open-minded in your discussions.
2) Do not make negative comments about the other parent to the children (no matter how outrageous you believe the other parent is behaving). If you believe there is abuse or neglect by the other parent, consult immediately with a therapist and an attorney. If there is an emergency situation, the local child protective services and law enforcement should be contacted immediately.
3) Do not discuss the litigation with the children or allow them to review court documents. These are adult issues. You should approach the child custody issues as an opportunity to try to reach an agreement with the other parent. All attempts should be made to be a "united parenting force" for your children, if appropriate under the circumstances.
4) Do not discuss child support with the children.
5) Do not pass messages for the other parent through the children.
6) Do not undermine the other parent's authority. If the other parent imposes discipline (such as grounding or a time out), support the decision. Of course, this does not mean to support child abuse. But, assuming we have a non-abusive method of discipline, consult with the other parent before questioning the decision in the presence of the children.
There are many resources for co-parenting classes and therapy to help parents. After a divorce is final, the parents have the opportunity to focus on the parenting without the problems of the marriage. Clearly, the children would benefit. Children develop and grow very fast. You only have one opportunity to raise them. Don't waste it because you are angry over the divorce.